Student-favorite urinal destroyed

by Clay Cooper

Much discussion has been trending over the emotional journey the urinal in the southeast corner of the high school has been through this year. The student-favorite urinal has plastic covering it and an “OUT OF ORDER” sign dangling in the way for about a month. Many guys have said that every time they walk in the restroom and see their favorite urinal helpless, beat and out of use, their happy feelings are flushed away, and their tears are wiped up with toilet paper that has been plopped on the floor for several years. The question still remains: How did the urinal break down? Who had beef with the urinal? Was it a student? Was it a staff member? Was it human? Or was it a burrito?
Before the urinal was ambushed, many witnesses have said they saw a burrito in it before it got shut down without any notice.
Director of Operations Jeff Shannon said, “It wasn’t the burrito. All it is is a part that needs replaced.”
The innocent urinal is being forced to watch as the other urinals get used. It can’t carry out its duty as a urinal anymore.
Senior Austin Sneller said, “I feel a little bit of betrayal and anger. It’s not that the small urinal is bad, but no one wants to use it because we’re in high school, and when you’re using the middle urinal, it’s awkward. It just causes mayhem. You have to make the choice of using the small urinal or the stalls, or just wait until someone is done using the middle one.”
No one knows for certain when the urinal will be up and running but when it is, you can bet there will be people in line waiting their turn to catch it.