The room becomes a blur from the tears forming in your eyes. You don’t know whether to cry, sit in silence or scream. Suddenly you’re alone. The truth is, you’re not. It just feels like it because the one person who you wish could be there isn’t there. You’re surrounded by those who love you more than you know. The amount of love that they give off suddenly feels like it’s not enough. It never will be because a part of your heart is now gone.
The truth sinks in and reality hits.
You suddenly start to think of all the events they’ll never get to experience with you. Graduation, wedding, recitals, competitions, concerts and everything else you could ever imagine. Tears flow and flow until you’ve reached empty and there are no tears left to cry.
At least for now.
Then these major events happen in your life and you’re beyond excited to tell someone, to tell everyone! Suddenly you go silent, because you can’t run up to them and hug them as they tell you “I’m so proud of you”.
Longing for their touch, to hold their hand again or embrace a hug, to hear their voice and laugh again. That’s all you ever want. All you want is one more time to say “I love you”.
You never think the last time will be the last. You always think that you’ll have another Saturday to go to their house, another happy birthday call to make or even one more smile and wave. Suddenly it’s all ripped away from you and there’s nothing you can do about it.
You can’t do anything and you feel helpless. Sitting there, wind knocked out of you when you get the worst news of your life delivered to you. Seeing the ones you look up to most break down, hearts shattering all around including your own. Once again, there’s nothing you can do about it.
They say healing takes time, but time can never heal your heart completely. You’ll still miss them and cry out for them. Begging and crying for just one more minute. One minute to make up for all the memories you’ve lost out on. One last minute to grasp everything before it’s gone.
One last minute to be with the one you love before it’s time for them to go. That is what it’s like to lose someone.